Motherhood Is A Spiritual Journey
In just two months I will be a grandma! (Or Mimi, Nana, CeeCee) I’m still trying to figure the name out. But, I am so excited! I’ve heard that being a grandparent is the icing on the cake of motherhood. All of the love with not (as much) responsibility. This transition into being a grandma will be a brand new spiritual journey for me.
Children Teach You Just As Much As You Teach Them
You are constantly changing and evolving as you raise your children. Each child, with their unique personality and life journey, helps shape you just as much as you are shaping them. Therefore, you are never the same person you were before you became a mom.
In a recent post I wrote about an exercise to finding your Teachers, Classrooms, and Lessons. If you did that exercise, I’m sure you found that a lot of things you’re “learning” are coming from your kids. Some of these lessons have to do with:
- Letting go
- Unconditional love
to just name a few…
Kids Know How To Push All The (wrong) Buttons
We begin motherhood with the intention to raise another human devoid of all of the mistakes that our own mother made with us. I had a great mom and miss her dearly…but, as a teenager, I criticized her for everything. The way she dressed, the way she spoke, the way she laughed, what she cooked, what she didn’t cook. Gosh, looking back, I wasn’t always the nicest kid. I was way too cool and my mom just didn’t get all of the helpful tips I was throwing her, in a snarky, mean way. (ha!) She was my biggest support and number one fan while I was such a bitch. I can see that so clearly now.
Your child’s behavior may remind you of a difficult relationship you had with a sister or brother. Or, you may see yourself in your child as they make the same bad decisions or mistakes that you made as a teenager.
For example; one of my sons is more like me and is handling his high school career as I did, and it’s driving me nuts! Another son is a lot like my husband. Any time he doesn’t show drive or determination with hockey it completely puts my husband over the edge because he can’t understand how the kid who looks like him, doesn’t act like him.
Being triggered doesn’t make you a bad mom, (or dad) it just means you have some healing to do and that process would be good for both of you.
I didn’t understand this until I became a mother.
Mothers are just humans like the rest of us. Actually, like us, they are spirits having a human experience met with challenges. Moms are going through this “mothering” experience, while they are still dealing with their own life issues and dramas. Sometimes they don’t make the best decisions or set the perfect examples while walking this journey.
Every Motherhood Experience Is Unique
Each child you bring into the world or raise is intertwined with your purpose as well as theirs. I believe that we choose our mothers from the spirit realm before we physically get here. Because our mothers and families fulfill a specific need in living out our life’s purpose. The family we grow up with, even the foster family, adopted family, or no family, shapes our life experience on purpose. It’s a part of why we chose which family to journey within this lifetime. Every child we have brings on a new layer of experience, but each child also brings forth a new set of issues, personalities, and purpose.
I love newborn babies! It’s when those babies begin to toddle around and are constantly putting things in their mouths that make me anxious and stressed out. Then, when they get into school and sports, it becomes fun again for me.
Because I never played sports as a kid, (as an artist instead) I didn’t think I would enjoy watching my kids play sports. But I do! I live for watching my boys play hockey. It is the best thing in the world! Every mom has certain things you absolutely love about parenting, and other things that you just have to get through. All of our experiences are unique.
Your Motherhood Experience Has Been Written In The Stars
It never fails to amaze me when I’m looking at someone’s natal chart. If you were adopted, had a rough childhood, had difficulty conceiving…it’s all spelled out in your Soul’s Blueprint.
I have friends who have been adopted. Some are traumatized by the fact that their mom gave them away and feel a sense of abandonment. But, if you look at their natal chart, you’ll see that they were meant to be raised by someone else. Your mom is the woman who raised you. We all know someone who was adopted but looks just like their adoptive parents, right?
It’s not random.
I’m not saying that the women who raised you was always a peach. That is a different discussion, different blog post. I’m just getting to the point that adoption or being in a foster home are all predetermined prior to your physical birth…by you.
We are not victims
What about the want-to-be moms who have tried to conceive but can’t? What is the purpose there? I had 2 aunts who never had children. Both married but circumstances led to them not having kids. They happened to be the best aunts ever because they really truly loved, guided, and supported my sister, brother, and me. We were essentially their kids. I learned so much from them because they were completely different than my parents. You can’t discount the fact that some women’s purpose is to mentor, love, and guide other people’s children. Because let’s face it…no one listens to their mother anyway.
The worst nightmare of every parent is to lose a child. (grief) That’s an extremely difficult loss I hope I will never have to encounter. However, I do believe that when we choose our parents, we also choose how long we’ll stick around. The impact we all have on each other isn’t always determined by the number of years we live. Some shorter lives actually create a much bigger impact on the world. The child who leaves early has done what they came here to do and I know 100% that their leaving is met with perfect love and happiness on the other side.
Many of us have a child or children that beat to the rhythm of their own drum. No matter what you do to guide them, they just refuse to listen and chart their own course. (trigger, disappointment, worry) It would be great if we could just download all of the learning we did in our lifetime to make their lives easier. But, that’s not why we’re here, nor, why they’re here. We all have a distinct personal journey to traverse.
My daughter who is pregnant recently talked about how she is looking forward to motherhood, complete with all of the challenges people complain about. You know, the sleepless nights, the loss of freedom, and the life-long marathon of being in charge of someone else’s safety. This is great! We all need to have realistic expectations going into motherhood. A part of being realistic is realizing it’s not all rainbows and unicorns. That sweet little bundle of joy will sometimes cause you heartache, worry, and disappointment. That adorable munchkin that has your heart on a string may one day judge you, ignore you, sass you, or laugh at you. (unconditional love?)
What Has Motherhood Taught You?
I have 5 kids. Five very different kids. Each one bringing to me another layer of learning. (clearly, I have a lot to learn) Without embarrassing any of them, I will omit what I’m learning from each of them. And, when I say “learning”, it can also be the love I feel for another human, what real joy feels like, or the people they are becoming that is teaching me lots of things. It’s not only about hard, difficult challenges.
If you could write your own Motherhood Manual, what things would you include that no one every told you about motherhood?
How is your motherhood journey different from those around you?
Please share! I’d love to hear.
What kids need most when growing up, is an emotionally engaged mom. Motherhood and parenting are not for the faint of heart, nor to be undertaken for accolades and thank-yous. It is the most beautiful relationship there is in life, but it’s also a spiritual journey where so much is learned through that love and relationship. With the goal being to be more compassionate, loving, and kind beings when we move onto the next spiritual realm.